Sunday, February 27, 2011

My Annulled Wife's First Ex-Husband

On Facebook my annulled wife's first ex-husband asks me politely to take his name out of these stories. He doesn't realize that their whole point is to draw people back into them.

I am pleased to receive his message. Up until then he was only one of my wife's stories. I wondered how much of what she told me was true. Probably all of it.

She told me my value to her was that I knew the truth about her, and still loved her. I had confidence that she appreciated me, sometimes, that she loved me, sometimes.

A lot of the time I was with her I was afraid of her, and could only feel safe after performing whatever service was demanded. A temporary safety. Nevertheless I blame myself for not loving her enough.

At the time it seemed I owed it to myself to find a better life. But worse life followed, not better. I loved her, I should have taken on the difficulty. Anyway that is how it looks now when I don't have to be afraid.