Friday, December 23, 2011

Let's Sue Starbucks! (2)

The background: In L.A., if you visit a Starbucks Cafe you won't stand much of a chance of seeing anyone working there under thirty. Job applicants older than that told me their applications weren't even considered. I filled out an internet application myself, and got back a message from Starbucks saying, in effect, I wasn't qualified for any job they had, in the U.S. and out of the U.S. I had the chance to discuss this with two of their regional managers. They weren't allowed to speak of these matters, they told me. Starbucks corporate offices didn't respond to my emails. So I sued Starbucks and wrote them again. They still didn't respond.

I understood. Starbucks is a corporation. If talking might hurt their profits they won't do it. No one is paying them to act like human beings.

To sue Starbucks I had to find someone the court would accept to serve the papers on. A store manager like the one I had served, I was told, was not acceptable. But meanwhile Starbuck's lawyers had written to me, so I served them with the papers. That worked. And Starbucks lawyers are fun.

Starbucks lawyers don't hide. They get paid to talk. The more they talk, the more emails they send, the more they bill Starbucks. They like to communicate with me. They send me blank court documents, tell me the case has been closed by court judgements obtained in my absense, then invite me to come to depositions at their offices.They say to me, tell them what I have against Starbucks. I say sure, if they will get Starbucks to answer. The lawyers agree, but of course they don't keep their bargain, and they politely allow me to call them psychopaths and liars, they don't run away. They complain though it is unprofessional of me. I say I'm sorry to hurt their feelings, but it is their profession to be psychopaths and liars, not mine, no one is paying me to be crazy, so of course I'm not professional. I think it's a better job being sane.

They threaten me and I threaten them. They say they'll sue me to pay their salaries to fight me. I say I'll mock them on the internet. It's war!